By Chuck Fina.
The Gordon’s Gin league was down again for the second week in a row due to the provincial government’s ridiculos lock down rules.
“I’ve started chipping golf balls at the local park since playgrounds are open. I chip hundreds of balls at the slide and watch the balls roll down the slide”, said Stevo.
“Let’s see, covid is running rampant, infected flights continue coming in but we’ll shut down golf courses. C*** whallapers”, said the Sea Lion.
“It’s getting frustrating”, said Chevy who hasn’t walked or checked the weather in 2 weeks. “My wife is threatening to return the pull cart I got for my birthday”.
May Day, who is not only the league’s commissioner but also the number one critic of the provincial government was seen in his back yard in Belle River throwing a hatchet at the large maple tree that had a Doug Ford poster nailed to it.
“I have a story for you. I went to the doctor the other day and the conversation went something lke this”, said May Day.
DOCTOR: What can I do for you today?
MAY DAY: I need a note.
DOCTOR: You sick?
MAY DAY: Nope.
DOCTOR: You drinking again? You went to the Beer Store, bought a small keg of Keith’s and a hand pump and chugged the entire keg on a Zoom meeting with your boss?
MAY DAY: Nope.
DOCTOR: Why do you need a note?
MAY DAY: So I can go to the gym. My gym guy says you can get a doctor’s note and then you are allowed to work out.
DOCTOR: WTF is wrong with the world?
VAGINA STEAMER FEEDBACK
“ I tried it and it was awesome. I have never felt cleaner”, said the Rake.
“You wouldn’t believe the orders coming in”, said Stevo
KOBASSA OPEN
Kobassa Open set to go July 15, 2021. Make sure you text or e mail Stevo if you are in.
THIS UNAMED TOMCAT ENDED UP IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM – OUCH
Balls to that!
A Windsor Tomcat’s do-it-yourself sex toy cut off the blood supply to his penis and had to be cut off with an electric saw.
Both his penis and scrotum became “swollen, blue and cold to the touch” as a result of his booze-fueled, hormone-charged hijinks.
But even when he arrived at the hospital, he remained erect — a shocking 12 hours after squeezing his bits through a steel ring.
At the hospital, he admitted that he used the 4 cm in diameter gold ring to maintain an erection while masturbating.
At the Windsor Regional Hospital Hospital medics first used bolt cutters to remove the ring but their efforts fell flat.
Docs using a rotating saw eventually succeeded in freeing the imprisoned penis.
But according to Urology Case Reports, cold water had to be constantly applied to cool the area and keep the saw from frying his phallus.
The unidentified man’s genitals returned to normal colour and size without any lingering damage.
Dr. T. Feelgood wrote in Urology Case Files: “Genital decompression should be as quick as possible to try to recover the external genital organs. The electric saw is very useful, particularly for devices with large thickness, but it is absolutely necessary to take precautions so as not to damage the underlying tissues.”
Penis strangulation can be serious and in some cases doctors are forced to amputate the entire penis so gangrene doesn’t spread.
Let’s hope golf courses are open soon!
Windsor Tomcats 