Windsor Tomcats

By Harry Ballsonue

The 2017 season should be an interesting one with the fact that Tomcat management tried to shore up some goaltending for this year, there are six net minders on the roster, starting with the first three that will get the playing time, Falcon, The Terror and Chico, but here is the beautiful thing, if there is only two teams, then Falcon and The Terror play in net, and Chico, who is an excellent defence-man will play defence. “We have the same thing with Scuz as well”, stated a beaming Rocky and added, “If it all works out this year, we should be pretty good in net, it is very nice that Chico is interested in playing in goal for us and if and when the Terror can play, he is an excellent addition.”

Skippy and the Danish, have been relegated as fill ins when needed, “I love the Tomcats, any way I can help out, I am willing to do, my attendance has fallen off a bit last few years, so I understand my role with the Tomcats,” stated the happy go lucky Skippy.  To be fair to this stellar net minder, injuries have plagued him for the past few years and his GAA remains at a strong 6.79.

One of the emails I received this week, from several fans was, ‘Will it be confusing if the new guy, who use to be named Ricky is now renamed Bullwinkle since there is already a Bulldog on the team, will the name Bullwinkle and Bulldog prove to be too much for some Tomcats?”  Great question, from Sly in Comber, Rocco in Windsor and Daisy from Kingsville. I don’t think so, Bulldog is always Bulldog or Bully, Bullwinkle, will be Bullwinkle or Winkle.

Here is another email from a Jasmine in Leamington, ‘What about Crow, is he playing, what is his contract status?’ I am being told by Tomcat Management that Crow, is going to be placed on long term injured reserve, this, according to Finner, the GM, but this has not been done as of yet, I was told, from a source, that did not want to be mentioned, that Crow is holding out for more money and he is demanding to play, only on the same line with only Stevo and Tunzie, he wants to play with no one else. Wait and see what happens.

Jingles is said to be rehabbing his injured arm very nicely and is expected to make a return into the line up in mid October.

The Turk, who had off season surgery is said to be eyeing a mid to end of October return to the Tomcat line up.  The Turk holds records every year for ‘most blocked shots’ in a season, last year he blocked, 14,782 in the 2015-16 season he blocked, 13,989 and in the 2014-15 season he had blocked, 14, 324 shots.

Scuz will start the season in the minors with the Bad Axe Bearcats and will be brought up in Mid October, according to General Manager Finner.

Rake is very proud of his prodigy Doc, “As a kid he came to my hockey schools every summer. I watched
him grow and get drafted and now, here he is in his 7th Tomcat season, it just makes me so proud”. A beaming
almost weeping Rake said.

Tomcats, in the off season, signed Moose, who according to some scouts is a Beep double as far as play and stature, he will start the season in the minors with the Bearcats and be brought up when needed. “He is a Tomcat, a great guy and I would say a better player then I am,” stated Beep, who knows Moose.

Tomcats will miss the Razor, in the net and on stage, nothing was funnier when Razor dressed just in a towel sang Happy Birthday to Stevo in his Marilyn Monroe voice and when Razor and Hollywood would sing, “Carless Whisper” doing the sax solo or when Razor would mimic the Ukrainian band singing the Katy Perry’s song, I can hear Razor singing, “You…change your mind, like a girl change her clothes”, Razor you are loved and you will be missed, visit always, the boys want to see you.

Pictured here, one of the greatest Tomcat goalies and one of the best Tomcats ever Razor, he will be missed by everyone. Also pictured is Shack, who has been given a life time ban from Tomcat hockey for not showing up for a tournament, Also pictured, Beep, Turk, Sunny, Cribzie and Stevo. “What is better then the Tomcats, maybe road
head”, stated the Turk.

Quincy from Livonia writes, ‘Will Chevy score 80 goals this year and will Kamikaze keep knocking Stevo down?”  Both great questions, I predict Chevy hits 90 goals this year and I also predict that Stevo will get knocked down and will lose it this year, he won’t be having fun when it happens but the tantrum will be fun to watch, lets hope someone gets a celly out and records it for you tube viewing.

Don’t forget to tell Rocky if you cannot make it to hockey next Tuesday, September 19th.

The beer list is out, so make sure YOU know when to bring your beer.

Hey, whilst you are checking out the photos, do you think I can put my Harry Ballsonue.