Windsor Tomcats

June 13, 2017

By Dick Fitzwell

The fellas were back at Bellevue for Week Three of the Gordon’s Gin Golf League. Temperatures soared to 115% F but the fellas walked all 18 holes carrying their clubs on their backs.

Scores were Stevo, 68, Seal Lion, 69, Bundura, 70, and May Day, 75. The birdie jug was getting its fair share of hits. League rules stipulate that when a player makes a birdie, a swig of specialty, locally distilled birdie juice is taken by each player.

Tempers flared both on the 17^th hole and later in the clubhouse. The Sea Lion hit an impressive 5 wood off the tea only to roll into the ditch. Analyzing his next shot, the Sea Lion said, “I’m going to get aggressive with this next shot”. He lines up his next shot, takes a huge back swing, connects with the ball and duffs it right into the smelly, grassy growler and the ball disappears back into the ditch. Stevo, May Day and the Bundura are looking straight down as to not make eye contact with the Sea Lion.

The Bundura a master of negotiations works on the president of the league, May Day to invite more Tomcats into the league …” I’ve watched some of these guys play hockey I can’t imagine them joining the league and being actual golfers ” stated May Day .

The Seal Lion then takes a one handed overhead wind up with his 5 wood and comes down hard on his poor head cover that was on the ground causing the head cover to bounce a few feet in the air. “That was a shit shot. That’s what happens when I lift my head”, steamed the Sea Lion. Always the guy with a positive outlook, May Day stated,  “At least you hit your cover right on the screws”! The fellas busted out laughing and the Sea Lion holed a 132 yard chip shot to finish the hole with a bogie.

Inside the clubhouse the boys were looking forward to after round beverages only to discover the back bar was not opened. Seems Belleview has adopted Air Canada’s motto on customer service. “We’re not happy until you’re not happy”, fumed May Day. May Day has placed Belleview under suspension and the boys will play their next round at Ambassador. “We spend $10,000.00 per week on booze, food and strippers and this is the way they treat us”, said the Bundura.

One of the Foursomes poses for pictures before teeing it at Mr Gordon’s Dirty Growler Tomcat Golf League…Pictured ; Stevo ..May Day ..Bundura and the Sea Lion

Movies discussed this week were Racks and Blacks, Pulp Friction and Sorest Rump.  All blockbusters back in the day.

The boys are off next week as the Bundura is hosting his annual Make a Wish tour in London. 150 golfers are booked to play. League play resumes at Ambassador on June 27.