Hockey Cancelled, Be A Proud Tomcat BY HARRY BALLSONUE
“Don’t ask what the Tomcats can do for you, ask what you can do for the Tomcats”. Ex Captain of Tomcats Rex Albert
Software engineering has allowed for the development of everything from cutting-edge life-saving medical tools, to advancements in Artificial Intelligence. While a life of celebrity might be more glamorous, you could end up making more money (more sustainably) by becoming a software engineer (Futurism) But whats wrong with being a great Tomcat? Help set up and take down boards and nets at the end of the night. “We are all in this together”, stated Rocky and added, “Everyone should jump at helping and not just sitting on the orange chair and grabbing a beer after hockey”.
VALENTINES DAY
Valentines Day Ruined Tomcat Hockey…Shame on those who cancelled on Tuesday!
I guess they did not see the sign.
HOCKEY TEAMS
ROCKY ROCKETS It could have been a great team.
STEVO STINGRAYS It would have been a barn burning team.
“I can’t believe the pussy whipped Tomcats out there, unbelievable”, stated a weeping Sparky.
“What has happened to the man in Tomcat Man, it is hard to except”, stated and openly crying Doc.
“I can’t even talk, I’m shaking……can’t say anything about those who cancelled, sad…(Sob), “ a shaking and balling Kamikaze.
TOURNAMENT PREDICTIONS
A fellow colleague of mine, Yur Handsoonmycoq has made his prediction for this years tournament, he predicts May Day and Hurricane will be in the finals and that May Day will sip form the cup, he predicted that Bulldog will finish 3rd with Sparky’s team finishing in dead last.
I don’t make predictions, I do make observations, and with Crow not playing I believe any team has a chance to win as there is parity in the tournament, but here is a little tidbit of information, ‘goaltending wins championships’, The hot goalie in the tournament, will win the tournament.
Your Handsonomycoq also predicated that there would only be two teams last night and one spare aside…he was wrong, there were no teams.
FUND RAISER FEBRUARY 18
Tomcats very own Hollywood is organizing a fundraiser. The cost is $25 a ticket. Five of that you can use for food. That means $20 goes to the fund raiser, “I am very thankful to the Tomcats who have purchased tickets and will be attending, their support is greatly appreciated”. Hollywood had stated.
There will be traditional Ukrainian food, a band from Toronto will be playing the dance portion and several of the Tomcat Brethren who are Tomcats will do a few songs.
GOLF TOURNAMENT JUNE 16
The date is set for Friday June 16, 2017, Snowpants is working on the where portion and you know he does such a great job, he will have other festivities planned for this majestic day.
FARMERS ALMANAC
The coldest day in the recored history of North America (Outside of Greenland) was 70 years ago this month (February) when a Canadian weather station at Snag, Yukon Territory, hit -81.4 F. How cold is that? So cold that your spit freezes before it its the ground. So cold that your nostrils freeze up. So cold that you can hear your breath freeze – ‘ a tinkling sound’ according to witnesses. So cold the the four weather observers present could hear laughter and conversations in an aboriginal village 3 miles away, “A spoken word remained in the air as a tiny, motionless mist for 3 to 4 minutes”, one responded, can you imagine “Stevo Blows….” hanging in the air like that?
IN CLOSING
Only one week left before the tournament, Captains want all their players on the NASA diet and to stop having sex with their significant other.
While you are thinking, wow…No Hockey, ‘ I can’t fucking believe it’ -81 F is cold and is it too late for me to become a software engineer and while you are thinking all that, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.
Windsor Tomcats 