Three Ukrainian Captains… by Harry Ballsonue
“Last year we couldn’t win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn’t think of anyplace else to play.” Harry Neale, professional hockey coach
Teams
Hollywood Borscht Hollywood, Beep, Green Giant, Stevo, Shack, Hurricane, Doc
Chevy Perohe Chevy, Sunny, Soupy, Razor, Chico, Flintstone, Sheep Dog
Sparky Kapusta Lovie, Snowpants, Cribzie, Turk, Jingles, the Danish
With the three Captains being Ukrainian, the team names became Ukrainian as well. “No one likes Putin” said one Captain, and added, “We are proud Ukrainians.”
It seemed to me, that the hockey was very good last night, good work by all the teams, no hacking, no wacking and no super intense play, just nice passes with some pretty goals. Compliments to the guys that played and to the three Captains that picked the teams.
Snowpants was injured early on in the first game on a play that he himself was responsible for, he fell to the ground and jammed his rib area, He was helped off the the Kapusta Kow Floor and did not see anymore action on the night. “We are evaluating the situation on a hourly basis, to lose a player of Snowpants magnitude is never good.” stated head coach Sea Lion and added, “We will evaluate tomorrow morning and see where he is at, and yes, its an upper body injury.” Sea Lion concluded.
Snowpants suffered an upper body injury and Tomcat medical staff Doc came by to feel the ribs …” Only problem is his plan was to use two fingers and check from in my butt and up for the fractured ribs “.
Sunny and Chevy addressed the media after,
Sunny holds press conference ” my favourite porn is the casting couch ….I think the bang bus girls ….well that’s fake “.
Sunny is asked if his wife is a Unicorn …” Yes I can say she is, I’m a very fortunate fella and yes …we plan on participating in the upcoming HBO Series ‘Tomcat Wife’s'”.
Chevy held a press conference and told the media how he was lost “in a bush” one time in university .
Chevy’s press conference ….”don’t settle for a HJ …you’re a Tomcat for Goodness Sake “
Did you notice that they did not play the last game? I did, I asked Stevo about it, after. “we don’t have a rule about that, but personally I would like to see all the games played out, people pay their five dollars and deserve to get their five dollars worth. It really has nothing to do where the Mini is at, it is more about the running and getting a good sweat going”. Stevo had stated.
“Maybe we should get rid of the scores and standing all together”. suggested Cribzie.
What should happen is that Stevo or who ever is in charge on the night, should say, ‘if these two teams do not want to play, is there anyone who does and anyone who does can play’. The Tomcats have enough black and white shirts and two sets of other shirts (one probably used that night) so that a game could still be played. “I think when the weather is hot the goalies sometimes ask for the night to end, sooner rather then later, which I understand, totally, but last night, it was cool out and the 6th game should have been played. I think it is something we can address at the year end Board of Directors meeting in May.” Stevo concluded.
A shout out goes to Sunny for bringing an array of extra beer in, “I had some odd and ends in the fridge, so I thought I would bring them in”, now that is a Captain and a leader, no wonder they made him an assistant Captain with the Tomcats.
Chrysler Connection….
December 15 is next week and it is the last night of Hockey for 2015. Christmas Party downstairs in the Tomcat Club. All Tomcats and Alumni are invited. Please drink responsibly and have a D.D. if you wish to have more then your usual.
First night back in 2016 is January 12, 2016.
Watch for ‘What the Tomcats know’ this Friday!
New Feature, now in it’s fourth week Rexy’s Tee Shirts
Ex Tomcat and now Assistant Coach Rex Albert has come across some tee shirts in his travels and is sharing them with the Tomcat Nation.
This week Samantha, ….
While you are taking in the Unicorn comment by Sunny and thinking, ‘hey is my wife a Unicorn’, do you think I could put my Harry Ballsonue.
Windsor Tomcats 