Windsor Tomcats

Hello all, Phil here standing in for Harold! Wow, what a night, way high up here in the press box at the Kow Palace!
All sorts of stuff going on, very entertaining hockey, high scores all around, some “He said, He said”, Whhoooo weeee,
we also had a Mexican gun fight, sort of, without the Mexicans, and also no guns.

The White Snow Stars consisted of Hurricane, Chevy, Steve-O, Soupy, Sparky, Kamikaze and, Jingles. With the always fascinating in net, Razor.
The Black Snow Shovels were Beep, Snowpants, Bulldog, Doc, Husky Eyes, Spinner,and Hollywood, donning the leather was Chico.

That is right, you read that correctly, Bulldog back in the line up after missing out several weeks for spending some time in Hamilton,
with the Hamilton Bulldogs doing a bunch of training! Lots of it! Word around the campfire was that Junior was to make his return to the Tuesday Night Hockey Club?
It would have been his kind of night, a two team night, no mini, just how he likes it, but withdrew at the last minute, for an undisclosed reason!
Hurricane was back from his one month Asian/Australian Hockey clinic tour. He said it was good to be back!
Back to hockey action. There must have been a kajillion shots on both nets with both goalies making stupendous saves .
Chico was overheard thanking Spinner for blocking a bazillion shots, after the first period the game was 8-6 for the Snow Shovels.
The snow shovels widened their swath in the second frame, and destroyed the Snow Flakes 13-8. The killer combination of Beep and Snowpants seemed unstoppable!

Everyone all around seemed to score tonight? In the third quarter, the score was reset to zero’s. Fresh game OK, so at about the 17:57 mark. The Shovels get a goal. Steve-O announces;
“Stop the clock, that goal counted, we are switching sides, you guys go over there and we are coming over here”, goalies switched sides.
Everyone seemed to look at Steve-O like he was a cross between Brian Wilson, a Canadian Loon, and the Mad Hatter?
But, that is what happened and it seemed like his evil, (crazy) genius plan worked, the Snow Stars seemed to put the brakes on the scoring machine Shovels and were up at the end of that period 9-5.
So the Black Shovels try to regroup, and score but the Snow Stars answer back and get a goal. Matador and Steve-O were passing and scoring machines, as were the forward lines of Chevy and Soupy.
Again it seemed like everyone was notching goals on both goalies tonight. And then at about the 3:37 mark, Jingles and Snowpants were in the corner, neither of them wanted to give up the ball. so what happened in the corner?
Words were exchanged;

There once was an X from place B
That satisfied predicate P
The X did thing A
In a specified way
Resulting in circumstance C

Well those words weren’t exactly said, but let us use our imaginations! Fast forward the 2:09 mark, Hurricane, and Snowpants were going by each other, and words were exchanged something like this;

An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
said sex is one thing that I do know
women are fine
and sheep are divine,
but llamas are numero uno

And that wasn’t it, hurricane responded back with;

There once was a woman from Wheeling,
Who had a peculiar feeling.
She laid on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling.
There once was a girl in Mobile,
Her vag was made of cold steel.
To give her a thrill
Took a rotary drill
Or a number 9 emery wheel.
There was this one guy from Butte,
Who had several warts on his root.
He put acid on these
And now when he pees
He must finger the thing like a flute.

Benches cleared, people had to be separated, everybody paired up, the lights quite did not have to be turned off (it did not get to that point)! “He said, He said” had to be sorted out.
Now you may say, it seems slightly obscure that Hurricane was chosen by the coach, to go and be the Enforcer (for Jingles), (whether that was the case or not) but, that is what you do (if you have to)! You stick up for your teammate (if you have to).

Remember Tuesday Night Hockey Club is supposed to be fun. With minis getting to be more and more chippy in play, and now a two team turnout results in a melee like this? What is the big tournament going to bring? Gentlemen, there are no scouts in the crowd! You are not getting called to the show! You are supposed to be brothers in arms, friends, comrades(I hate using that word). You are supposed to play hockey, have fun.
So come February tournament time the referees will have a lot to say, and deal with. Are they there to be the Police, no, they are there to ensure fair play (and to have a good time as well)!
Should they have to, penalties will be issued , and you will have to suffer the consequences. First a verbal discussion from The Rake, then a three week suspension, and then you will be voted off of the Tomcat Island. Trust me, that my friends, is a lonely place, especially after you have sipped the sweet Tomcat Nectar!
Back on stage Snowpants apologized to Hurricane, Hurricane to Snowpants said an apology. Razor even quipped in with a “hey Snowpants, the only one you didn’t hit tonight was me”. Then the theme from the Blue Oyster bar started playing, and everybody was slow dancing the night away, together, in their ass less chaps, and leather hats and jackets and such.
OK, last part, not really, just looking forward to see what national media syndication picks up my story this time?
And that my friends is how it went, so while you are at hockey next week, I will not be in the press box, but hopefully, I will be somewhere!
Phil Landerer enjoying the moment………..