By Dick Fitzwell – Hustler Magazine Sports Editor
CP: Stevo misses one night of hockey and the next thing you know, Sparky thinks he owns the team and changes the usual format of hockey to one continuous game.
“Don’t get me wrong. The hockey was fast and furious but after 25 years in and out of this lineup, I have never seen this format before”, said Mayday after the game.
Hurricane and the Falcon were stellar in net and if you didn’t look closely, Hurricane looked like an older version of Johnny Bower in his prime or a younger version of Turk Broda. The Falcon was lights out most of the night except for the two bank shots that fooled him.
For those wondering where Stevo was last night, he was making arrangements to travel to the Dominican Republic, first class. “I am going on a humanitarian mission next week. I will be handing out autographed Tomcat Jerseys and pictures of myself. Also, Snowpants asked me to do some recruiting for the Escort Service since the government kicked out all the Russian and Ukrainian chicks out of the country. Snowpants has had little success in recruiting university and college chicks”, said Stevo. I asked him why he was flying first class. “Because I can”, replied Stevo.
See Jenna’s exclusive interview with Snowpants and how he rocked Jenna’s world at Mic Mac Park.
It was nice to see Bulldog back in the lineup. He spent the holidays running marathons in the North Pole and could not get back to Windsor/Essex County until just before game time because of dog sled delays.
Standouts last night were Beep, Sonny, Chevy, Cribz (ee) and the Rake for black while Soupy and the Matador were stellar for white. The Matador and Soupy were playing give and go all night. However, talk about not coming back.
“Coming back”, chortled Mayday. “Are you fucking kidding me? Those two guys not only did not cross center to get to their end, I don’t even think they got back past the basketball foul line. I could have sworn I saw the Matador giving Hurricane Water”, added Mayday.
No controversial calls to report but has anybody told Dizzy, there are no slap shots?
I won’t end this article by placing my hands on your cock or putting my hairy balls on you but if you are ever in trouble, don’t call collect. See you next week.
Windsor Tomcats 