It was great reading about all the adventures and misadventures that my fellow Tomcats were engaged in this summer. With this blog coming the first week of September, the summer seems over with all the little tomcats returning to school and the season just two weeks away. Pools will soon be closed, and the hockey sticks taken out. Goalies, please air out your equipment before the first night!
I had a hard time trying to decide what to write about. There was my trip to Poland with my wife Ania. The purpose was to attend the reunion of her fellow contestants in the 1974 Miss Poland contest. Lovely ladies indeed, Polish women have the best legs. Once in Europe, I was overwhelmed with the number of fans of the Tomcats who follow our website. Everywhere I went, people shouted ” Hurricane, you’re the best”, but I think they were talking about my porn career, not my hockey skills. I wanted to help the underpriviledged kids of the former Soviet bloc countries improve their hockey skills, so I formed the Hurricane Helpful Hockey Hints skills program. Those kids loved it, and I kept it inexpensive for them. I evened agreed to accept food stamps in lieu of cash.
I could blog indefinitely on further summer adventures, but I thought I should try, once and for all, to answer that one question I get all the time from fellow Tomcats and adoring fans, that is, “Is Chevy your son”? On the surface, there is substantial circumstantial evidence that points to this being true. They are as follows:
Uncanny physical resemblance (picture me with 1 or 2 more pounds)
Spouses are registered nurses
Spouses are brunettes
Matching Science degrees
Pharmaceutical career
Highly developed business acumen
First born is a daughter
Like beer
Drive Ford escapes
He shoots left, I shoot right (Symmetry of genes)
Gifted conversationalist
Gritty, don’t get us mad personalities.
Now, those Tomcats who are in law enforcement would say this evidence would not be enough of a rationale to undergo DNA testing to prove the family connection once and for all. However, there is one more piece of evidence I have never shared with Chevy or the Tomcats. Around the time of Chevy’s conception, I was a university student at the U of T. They had an exchange program with Queen’s University in Kingston ( Chevy’s birthplace and hometown), so I took advantage and attended Queen’s for one semester. As you can imagine, I was quite a stud and partier in those days and had the time of my life. I remember very little of it though, as I was in a constant state of fog the whole time due to drug and alcohol consumption. There were many conquests of the ladies, but very little recollection of them.
Of course, this means nothing until that faithful day I was at Chevy’s Lake Erie Estate helping him with some renovation work. His parents showed up, making the long trip from Kingston. Upon greeting his mother, giving her a hug and peck on the cheek hello, I was suddenly overcome with a devastating sense of deja vu! The softness of her cheek, the smell of her cologne, the way my arms fitted perfectly around her slim, sensual hips, a certain coy look from her, a wink and a pressing of her body against mine in that brief embrace was almost too much! I had to pull away quickly, to stop potential embarassment. Could it be, could it really be true that his mother was of those girls way back then? The embrace left me deeply shaken and confused.
There was only one thing to do: get a DNA test. I investigated various laboratories who do this testing, but it is very expensive, and they would not accept Ukrainian food stamps as payment. There was only one choice, and that was to contact Chevy and ask him to come with me for testing and share the cost. Unfortunately, the truth will have to wait. Chevy was not exactly receptive to the idea, stating, and I quote ” Stay away from me, you frigging sick bastard!” Some people are just afraid to discover the truth.
With that fellas, I look forward to seeing you in two weeks.
Hurricane<!– has been replace here –>
Windsor Tomcats 