Obviously, well hung Tomcat puck stoppers Falcon, Bearcat, Skippy and Razor have no idea what it means to be ‘shut out’, well, after the Tomcat Tournament, maybe Skippy does, anyway, once you let the ladies know that you stop rubber for a living, the world is your oyster (or bearded clam). Needless to say, when the Swedish Bikini Team showed up in Windsor for a promotional video, the Tomcats puck stoppers were asked to ‘represent’. After a couple of naked pyramids (thank heaven above that Falcon was on the bottom), 2 wild games of Twister and a streaking session through the quad (Blue 42!!!), the puck stoppers invited the Swedish hotties to a rolling bikini waxing party in Falcons Durango. We have sent the “interior detail” bill for a rather moist smelling Durango, to the Tomcats.
Bulldog has approached the representatives of the Trailer Park Boys to ask if they would MC the outdoor game at Lanspeary on April 26th. Julian and Ricky said it sounds like a real shit party and they would love to do it. Apparently, Bubbles loves doing that type of appearance, but he’s recovering from recent laser surgery and will be unable to attend. Bulldog asked how the surgery went and was told that Dr. Tayfour had to use a bigger laser than normal. NASA loaned him a laser that will be used as a future weapon of mass destruction and Dr. Tayfour said it worked like a charm. Word is that Geddy Lee may sing the national anthem. Stay tuned for more details.
Apparently, Cro and Doc are looking to move away from Cada Crescent. They had no idea that they were moving into a neighborhood that housed a member of Windsor PD. They are family men and the influence of nightly Tomcat sex, drugs and rock and roll has lowered the value of their homes. These fine, church-going men and their lovely families have held two-a-day prayer meetings asking the Lord above for some divine intervention. Well they got just what they asked for. Snowpants!! One night, Vic brought all of the parties together in Steves’ basement and they all sang Kumbaya on Karaoke. The street hasn’t been the same since.
Killer and The Rake are trying to take advantage of their Tomcat fame and notoriety by opening their own Ball Hockey School. They are specializing in stick handling and body check lessons to anyone 3 years of age or older. After receiving thousands of dollars in registration fees by hundreds of star-struck kids, Louis and Dean were last seen in Antigua with Jennifer Aniston and Scarlet Johansson.
Razor Wrap-up:
Sparky and Shamus, better known as the Dynamic Duo, were spotted hanging with Latoya Jackson and Britney Spears at Park 29 in Downtown Windsor. Sparky was showing a visibly damp and horny Britney some of his Dancing With the Stars moves, while Shamus used his fur-lined handcuffs to tether Latoya to the inside of a men’s room stall. Once the lights were turned up, Shamus sheepishly took the handcuffs off Latoya saying “Sorry, I thought you were Michael.”
Finally, last week the unlikely 3’some of Jingles, Youngblood and Cribs were spotted squiring the Kardashian sisters around Lasalle. At the end of the night, Cribs and Jingles threw Youngblood in the air and yelled “Heads or tails for who gets to take who home?!” Jingles being Jingles called ‘heads’ and ended up going home with one of the Kardashian brothers. Ouch.
This is Razor MZ signing off.
Windsor Tomcats 