Windsor Tomcats

Ever wonder where the Tomcat players go when they’re away from the floor. Although management does indeed get a few calls every weekend to bail the odd Tomcat out of jail, most of the warriors know how to have fun.

Charlie Sheen update:

Word on the street is that Junior and Charlie Sheen were seen sharing libations and hoes in downtown Detroit. Junior happened to run into Eminem around 8 Mile and word is Slim Shady challenged Pauly to a rap-off….big mistake. Junior hit him with the Tomcat theme song and last anyone saw, Eminem was working a drive through window at White Castle. Sheen was buying drinks all night and he and Junior soon maxed out the 2 ½ Men stars’ Gold Amex card. When Charlie started to whine, apparently Junior bitch slapped him and told Charlie he better bring his “A” game next time he was in town. Phone calls to the Sheen camp to verify this have not been returned.

Lohanarama:

Spinner was photographed escorting none other than Lindsay Lohan around Casino Windsor on the weekend. Spinner kept trying to entice her to hit the comped room by promising to show her his Tomcat cock ring. As much as this was Spinners “can’t miss” pick-up line, Lindsay just couldn’t pull herself away from the nickel slots. Apparently, Spinner pulled out all the stops and promised Lindsay her own Tomcat wrist band and a possible threesome with Ellen Degeneres. No one has heard from either of them since.

Reginald Dwight:

Paparazzi would not leave Lovie and Elton John alone as they tried to have a quiet dinner together. Lovie was photographed inhaling as many oysters as he could while Elton ordered Salt Peter shooter after Salt Peter shooter. This Caligula-like aphrodisiac gorge eventually led to a black stretch limo picking both of our nice boys up taking them to George Michaels flat for a game of naked Twister.

Razor MZ wrap up:

Sunday night, Rocky was seen escorting Lady Gaga into an after-hours lingerie shop. She was seen trying on some see through shin pads and Rocky had on a sequined singlet! Stay tuned to see how this turns out.

Two wild and crazy guys, Hollywood and Stevo, were apparently intent on keeping things in the family by trying to tag team the Olsen Twins. Stevo was heard to say, “Mikey, I’ll take the skinny one”, after much confusion about who got to do who, Hollywood and Stevo were last seen sharing a plate of cabbage rolls in the basement of St. Vlads. Both looked very satisfied.

Finally, Husky Eyes and Soupy were seen arm-in-arm at La Vie en Rose. Soupy was seen at the cash register with an arm full of licorice flavored thongs and Husky Eyes was trying to hide the fact that he had purchased and dildo that looked like the butt end of a hockey stick. Man… those Greeks know how to have fun… with anyone.

This is Razor MZ signing off and getting off.