Windsor Tomcats

 …by Bloggy Bloggerstein

You have to feel happy for Skippy. Hasn’t played in ages, a tourney rookie was a bit of a question mark on a very good team and he ends up walking away with the Stanley’s Cup and MVP. Attaboy Skip! That almost makes up for those god-awful pukey bile yellow slacks. Almost…

Rock makes Mel Kiper look like a preschooler on draft day. The guy can put a team together. Congrats Rock. Unfortunately, you are also henceforth banned from any Tomcat fantasy drafts…

Razor had a crazy-good tourney and was the MVP heading into the second period of the final, but just missed out on pulling a Hextall and winning the Conn Smythe on the losing team.

Stevo had a great tourney and was also in the MVP discussion on the stage. This was on top of the commitment, time and effort he puts in all year and especially at tourney time. Thanks Stevo, you are a beauty.

The Tomcats Forever anthem has been looping non-stop in my pumpkin since Saturday. Watch Stevo when you view the video, he can’t help cracking up when the girls’ parts are mentioned. Just like me when it came up in grade 6 sex ed class…

Danny is a great guy. He comes out for the entire day and stays until the last drink is tipped. Now that’s a Tomcat.

Along the lines of the lost and found sunglasses, has anyone seen a Brink’s truck? It is lost and was last seen driving through the Danish’s five hole…just kidding, thanks for stepping up and coming out to help us.

Falcon should be thanked gratuitously for spending good taxpayer’s money to dig up the video of that absolutely hard-as-rock Russian broad jumping around in that tighter-than-fuck outfit. I mean, jesus, oh…hold on…ahhh, sakes….pow. I need a brief intermission, some kleenex and a jar of Jurgens lotion…

Killer, I hope you are still taking advantage of the swollen pickle with the sweetie

When drinking at Purple’s it is absolutely mandatory to avoid eye contact with Junior. You could be talking to someone about the merits of socialist society, the effects of US interference in 3rd world countries, the emerging economies of China, India and Brazil, getting your taxes done or even discussing the form of our Russian sexerciser and he will automatically think you are talking about him in a derogatory fashion. This is always followed by him charging over and invading your personal space and telling you how lucky you are that he isn’t punching you out. On a positive note, Doc had a nice little two-step with him while they drilled back some pie. Buying him a beer also softens up the big bear…

The gig is up on Junior, by the way. His “injury” didn’t look to be anything serious to those of us on stage. We feel he is swimming deeply in plenty of fish on Tuesdays and dare I say it, using the Tomcat name to tomcat around the neighbourhood and…oh, never mind. I guess that makes sense. Just bring your phone around once a month with some pics Uncle June.

We thought Crow was impressive on the floor, you have to see this guy in the bar. Between Crow, Doc and Matty being so solid and Soupy’s poor attendance lately, Stevo is looking more and more likely to take the GM of the year. Sunny is still sore about it and only the intervention of his wonderful wife Denise has kept the Greeks together. Sammy might find himself facing death by Boola Boola if he’s not careful.

If we ever have a drinking tournament I want Crow, Hollywood, Youngblood, Jingles, Razor, Falcon, Doc, George, Danny, Junior, Stevo and Snowpants on my team.

Darek did a hell of a job refereeing the tourney. It is not an easy job and someone is always pissed, but the feeling on the stage is that he let the guys play and made one or two calls on obvious cross-checks which kept the lid on the game. He also made the call on Junior in the final when he ran Sunny through the wall, which was not as tough a call as originally thought. Mr Magoo, Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder were all standing with whistle to mouth as well…

It was great to see Bundura out as well, especially when he was getting in Junior’s kitchen.

Nick showed how tough the Belle River boys are as he played through a bad knee injury to ensure the Youngbloodz weren’t short

Crispy showed that he doesn’t know the meaning of rust and that he is still “The Man” with “The Shot”, right Killer? Jennings also thumbed his nose at those who thought he would be hurt by the lack of Tuesday nights.

Possible fines: Stevo for breaking stick and not having fun. Lovie for being a first round bust. Nicky for excessive bandage use. Killer for attempting to fuck a ballhockey ball. Falcon for having equipment that smells slightly worse than napalm. George for getting violent at Purples due to veggie pizza. Razor for impersonating Andy Capp in team photo. Rocky for texting with TSN panel during draft.

Thank goodness the cruiser had a solitaire game on the laptop. If it was porn I know it would be one of ours…

The chants of “One more year” flooded the stage when Finner’s retirement was announced. Stay tuned…

Thanks again Stevo for all your effort, we do appreciate it.