Windsor Tomcats

Tuesday night saw attendance levels back up to normal with 2 spares aside. Team “Brother Darkness” led by Stevo included Crow, Doc, Razor, Youngblood, Spinner and Rocky. Team “Tighty Whitey” was captained by Hollywood and featured the Falcon, Chevy, George Kastanza, the Snow-panted one, Shamus and Lovie.
 
I am writing this account in addition to the one from Mr. Ballsonue as I mistakenly thought he was away filming yet another blue movie. I didn’t realize he would be there, but he graciously allowed me to share the gondola with him and give my version of events.
 
The action was fast for the first ten to fifteen minutes with no scoring. As Harry mentioned, the goaltending display was one of, if not the finest we have seen all season. Team Whitey did much better than they should have as the defensive coverage was not up to snuff. Falcon was stellar. “I can’t believe how nimble the big guy is”, said Snowy. “He slides out those twinkle-toes like Fred Astaire and takes away the low corners” quipped Chevy.
 
The Black attack was running like a well-oiled machine. Spinner “Wesley” Snipes was snapping shots under the crossbar like Doc snaps off furious masturbation sessions between directing the big birds on his lunch break.
 
Speaking of Doc, he along with Stevo and Crow were putting on displays of passing that Howie Meeker would be proud of. Crow hasn’t had such great wingers since he played pro. The Tomcat Board is looking into a complaint that these guys have a competitive advantage due to their 3-hour hockey/karaoke sessions on Cada Crescent. Youngblood and Rocky pumped in a few goals and spread some sauce all over the ice for good measure.
 
The Whiteys won game two by some strange miracle combination of great goaltending by Falcon, a smooth “calm it down” from Captain Stevo and a few weird bounces past the stellar Razor. Before game 3, Captain Hollywood lobbed out an emotional speech that rallied the troops:
 
“Let’s do what we did last game guys”.
 
“What do you mean,… win?” asked Chevy, to which Hollywood responded “yes”.
 
That stirring speech was not enough to overcome the Crow Show and Team Black steamrolled to victory.
 
As noted by Harry, there was some interesting work along the wall between Chevy and Doc. It appeared that the young bulls were enjoying the effects of the spring weather and the upcoming mating season. Regardless, the boys were competing hard which is always good to see, as long as it doesn’t get to the “I’m not having any fun” or “I’m tossing a cooler lid” level.
 
The boys discussed the age gap between some of the players, noting that in the past all the older guys needed was a Farah Fawcett poster, a tube sock and some alone time to be happy. Doc stated that he thought Lovie was 64 years old, but was corrected. He only moves like he is 64.
 
“Samantha Fox had a great poster that was good fodder for punching the bishop” said George.
 
“I had a video of 7 chicks performing every act and fetish out there and I didn’t even get turgid” replied Shamus.
 
“That’s a real shame…us”…said Stevo as the boys loaded up to go to Purples where MGD’s and stories of karaoke at Doc’s filled yet another fun evening with the Tomcats.
 
Buster